You guys. Did you watch them? If not, did you see videos of the performances? I’ll link to some below, but before I do, I just have to say a few things.
First off, Miley Cyrus is gross. You guys, I don’t know if I should be utterly disgusted by her or feel sorry for her. Is this grill-wearing, head-shaven, tongue-obsessed, twerking girl her own creation? Or is it a planned money-making scheme? I mean, what is up with the furries in the video and the performance? She makes out with a DOLL in her video. AND WHY IS SHE ALWAYS STICKING OUT HER TONGUE????? Is it sexy? Seriously, someone tell me. IS IT??? I mean, she’s sexy to someone because she was named the hottest woman by Maxim this year. That skinny little girl in flesh-colored pleather shorts. Am I missing something? Am I just old? I mean, even the Smith Family (blechity-blech-blech-blech - more on that later) were grossed out. The photographic evidence is hilarious. Don’t get me wrong - the song is catchy. I actually like it. But…Miley, please stop. You’re embarrassing yourself. And then I have to feel embarrassed because you’re too dumb to realize that you should be. DON’T MAKE ME FEEL EMBARRASSED!
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2013 VMA, Artists.MTV, Music, Miley Cyrus
Did you see Justin perform? (I don’t have to write his last name as we are best friends as you can see from the above picture he sent me. Me and no one else (but his other Instagram followers)). It was glorious. I’m so excited I’m seeing him again in November. He danced!! He sang lots of songs in his medley! It was awesome! I will watch it again and again!
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2013 VMA, Artists.MTV, Music, Justin Timberlake
Did you watch him perform with ‘NSync? I won’t lie. It was a little sad. The rest of the group is a little slow with their popping and locking. And it also hurt my heart a little that they were immediately hydraulically ushered offstage. See you when Justin wins his lifetime achievement award, I guess! And then Kevin Hart had to make fun of them. Zip it, shorty.
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2013 VMA, Artists.MTV, Music, Justin Timberlake
Other highlights and observations:
Watching Taylor Swift tell the members of One Direction to shut up (in much less lady-like terms) on the kiss cam and then dedicating her stupid award to the stupid person her stupid song was about was kinda funny. The gloating was a little pathetic. Funny to watch, though. But are NY fans really the best fans? I’m gonna call shenanigans on that one too, One Direction.
Why are Harry’s (Taylor’s ex from One Direction) pants so tight? I mean, seriously? Is that sexy? Pants that tight just make the guy look pudgy. Am I right? I’m right. Admit it.
Why was Will Smith’s family on camera so much? Actually, why were they there at all? I mean, I’m happy we got the above-linked Miley Cyrus performance reaction, but…why did they keep panning back to them all night? WHY?????!!!!! Is it Fresh Prince? Seriously, I’m expecting an answer from someone.
How can One Direction’s song be the song of the summer when I’ve never once heard it? Ever. Granted, it’s not like I’m partying all weekend with my girlfriends, listening to music in our convertible bug while going to Forever 21, but… And both Blurred Lines and Get Lucky were E-V-E-R-Y-W-H-E-R-E. Weird.
Why does MTV bother with real-time voting when the show isn’t shown live on the West coast? Not that I would, but it was a little irritating to be asked to vote for something while knowing the voting was already over and the award was presented. Or am I wrong about that?
Are they really so full of awards that they have to name some off at the red carpet pre-show? That was weird. I’d be totally bummed if that were my award. It’s almost as bad as the technical Academy Awards that are given out on a totally different date with a different host and everything. Sad.
Why did Jennifer Hudson walk out and join the girl who sings the hook for Same Love? That was weird, right? She just came out and shout-sang the lyrics and the poor girl who actually sings was forced to look a little ridiculous singing along with her.
There’s more swimming around in my head, but this is all I’ve got right this second.
2 Comments
Ok, first things first. I loved that Vanessa Bayer as Miley Cyrus introduced Miley. And yes, she is gross. Based on the way her tongue looks, I think she is either dehydrated or probably has mouth cancer. And why did she have it sticking out for so long? That felt like an awkwardly long and uncomfortable tongue sticking out. My biggest question for society is, “Why is everyone so upset about her performance?” I mean really? Does anyone really expect better of her?
Now, on to Justin. I LOVED EVERYTHING!!!! Before his performance Matt was trying to warn me about getting my hopes to high and I shut that shit down asap. Don’t ruin my moment, I don’t care if its a let down. I am enjoying the anticipation. It was totally wort it, btdubbs. It’s funny that Joey Fat-one isn’t the fattest of the group, poor Chris. I also heard that his hydraulic lift malfunctioned and he had to leave the stage like a regular person.(Womp-womp) Oh, and you know all those lights that were pointed directly at the camera during the *Nsync part, I had a quick theory that they were hiding a faux *Nsync-er. I have not loved a tv musical performance like that since Jay Z was the musical guest on SNL when Betty White hosted.
Ok, what else? One Direction, take a look at your sad future (I’m talking about the rest of *Nsync). Selina Gomez has a single out right now? Taylor Swift, you are a sad 12 year old girl. Oh, and I totally thought you’d be pissed when they kept showing the Smiths.
Nikki
Poor Chris did look completely sad. I read an interview with JC and he said that while getting the group together made it feel like yesterday, they also were saying things like “Can you slow down and go over that choreagraphy one more time?” HA! Even Lance looked a little lost. I was surprised that One Direction wasn’t more excited to see ‘NSync since they were one of the people who PAVED THE WAY for those morons.
Oh, and I told Ryan that the next time JT comes into town, I would like the gift of front row tickets. I don’t care how much it costs. His response was a quiet and sad “hurray….” LOL.