Because Ralph and Ted get a lot of buzz around here, I thought I’d set up a little page for them. You see, they are awesome. Take your boxes and go, Maru! (Please don’t. I love you Maru!). I figured someone out there would get as much of a kick out of them as Ryan and I do. I’ve put together a little bio (probably more of a Match.com profile) for them. So, sit back and enjoy the show.
I’ll start with Ralph. He was a rescute (yes, that was initially a typo, but he was a very cute rescue, so “rescute” is actually correct) that I adopted several years ago. They had just gotten him off the streets, which I assume is why he looked like such a hot mess. To this day, I swear he is part squirrel. He’s definitely part something other than cat. His hair was the most insane thing ever. Sadly, it’s since calmed down. Alas, almost all of my “baby pictures” of him have been lost on a dead hard drive. BUT, I did salvage a few. And before I begin, let me say that not one of these pictures (of Ralph and/or Ted) was posed. You’ll understand why I say that as the pictures go on.
OK. So, this is what I brought home a few years ago:
Why, yes. That is the toilet. He hid away back there. Why? Because he HATED me. Ok, he was really just afraid of me, but I swore up and down that he hated me. Then I realized that he was just THE BIGGEST scaredy cat ever born:
But he did grow to love me. In fact, Ryan swears that he’s IN LOVE with me. Doesn’t your cat stare deeply into your eyes while purring FOREVER? No? Ralph does. But Ryan’s just jealous because he wasn’t around when Ralph came into the picture, so he didn’t “imprint” (aaahahaha) on him like I did. And jealousy is so ugly, you guys. He got me back, though, because Ted totally loves him more. Whatever.
Another “Ralph-ism” is his meow. He doesn’t meow. He either squeaks like a monkey (which is why we mostly call him Monkey) or he meows in a literal whisper. In the early morning, when people are sleeping, Ralph and I will have whispering conversations in the kitchen. Don’t worry, they’re not too weird. They mostly consist of me asking him things like if he’s hungry or if there’s something wrong or if he’d like me to turn the air conditioner on for him so that he’ll be more comfortable (yes, I’m joking…kinda). He answers me every time in his whisper meow. It’s adorable.
Also, Ralph is a bit of a dandy. If he were human, I think he’d be living in West Hollywood. See below:
He’s still shy which is particularly funny since he has become a HUGE cat:
But he thinks he’s pretty tough most of the time:
Doesn’t this look like it could be his high school yearbook picture? His prop is the sparkle ball. ANYWAY, Ted kinda accidentally came into our lives. We had adopted another kitten that died. It was one of the saddest things ever. To fill the void, I rescued another baby…Ted. He wasn’t the tiny kitten that I was initially hoping for, but was definitely the best addition to the family.
This is what I see on the way out the door every day:
But in complete contrast to Ralph, Ted is very brave. Well, relatively brave. Maybe compared to Ralph, anything is brave. See, Ted wants to go outside.
On his leash. AAAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Right? He loves it! Look at his hair (and hilariously huge tail) blowing in the breeze. Oh Ted…
But right from the start, they were best buds.
Don’t get me wrong, they fight. And Ted wins most of the time (read: he fights dirty).
But they usually just look like this:
Ralph + Ted 4-Ever! Now do you get why I mentioned the non-posing?
I kept telling myself that I was going to update this page with new pictures of the guys, but I have totally fallen down on the job. BUT NOT ANYMORE:
Aren’t they so handsome? Oh, and if you want MORE pictures of them (you know I take a ton), follow them on Instagram – @thelewisbros and/or on Facebook. Yes, I realize that is slightly pathetic, but…DO IT!