Ralph + Ted

Because Ralph and Ted get a lot of buzz around here, I thought I’d set up a little page for them.  You see, they are awesome.  Take your boxes and go, Maru!  (Please don’t.  I love you Maru!).  I figured someone out there would get as much of a kick out of them as Ryan and I do.  I’ve put together a little bio (probably more of a Match.com profile) for them.  So, sit back and enjoy the show.

I’ll start with Ralph.  He was a rescute (yes, that was initially a typo, but he was a very cute rescue, so “rescute” is actually correct) that I adopted several years ago.  They had just gotten him off the streets, which I assume is why he looked like such a hot mess.  To this day, I swear he is part squirrel.  He’s definitely part something other than cat.  His hair was the most insane thing ever.  Sadly, it’s since calmed down.  Alas, almost all of my “baby pictures” of him have been lost on a dead hard drive.  BUT, I did salvage a few.  And before I begin, let me say that not one of these pictures (of Ralph and/or Ted) was posed.  You’ll understand why I say that as the pictures go on.

OK.  So, this is what I brought home a few years ago:

Why, yes.  That is the toilet.  He hid away back there.  Why?  Because he HATED me.  Ok, he was really just afraid of me, but I swore up and down that he hated me.  Then I realized that he was just THE BIGGEST scaredy cat ever born:

But he did grow to love me.  In fact, Ryan swears that he’s IN LOVE with me.  Doesn’t your cat stare deeply into your eyes while purring FOREVER?  No? Ralph does.  But Ryan’s just jealous because he wasn’t around when Ralph came into the picture, so he didn’t “imprint” (aaahahaha) on him like I did.  And jealousy is so ugly, you guys.  He got me back, though, because Ted totally loves him more.  Whatever.

Another “Ralph-ism” is his meow.  He doesn’t meow.  He either squeaks like a monkey (which is why we mostly call him Monkey) or he meows in a literal whisper.  In the early morning, when people are sleeping, Ralph and I will have whispering conversations in the kitchen.  Don’t worry, they’re not too weird.  They mostly consist of me asking him things like if he’s hungry or if there’s something wrong or if he’d like me to turn the air conditioner on for him so that he’ll be more comfortable (yes, I’m joking…kinda).  He answers me every time in his whisper meow.  It’s adorable.

Also, Ralph is a bit of a dandy.  If he were human, I think he’d be living in West Hollywood.  See below:

He’s still shy which is particularly funny since he has become a HUGE cat:

But he thinks he’s pretty tough most of the time:

Enter Ted.

Doesn’t this look like it could be his high school yearbook picture?  His prop is the sparkle ball.  ANYWAY, Ted kinda accidentally came into our lives.  We had adopted another kitten that died.  It was one of the saddest things ever.  To fill the void, I rescued another baby…Ted.  He wasn’t the tiny kitten that I was initially hoping for, but was definitely the best addition to the family.

This is what I see on the way out the door every day:

But in complete contrast to Ralph, Ted is very brave.  Well, relatively brave.  Maybe compared to Ralph, anything is brave.  See, Ted wants to go outside.

On his leash.  AAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  Right?  He loves it!  Look at his hair (and hilariously huge tail) blowing in the breeze.  Oh Ted…

But right from the start, they were best buds.

Don’t get me wrong, they fight.  And Ted wins most of the time (read: he fights dirty).

But they usually just look like this:

Ralph + Ted 4-Ever!  Now do you get why I mentioned the non-posing?

I kept telling myself that I was going to update this page with new pictures of the guys, but I have totally fallen down on the job.  BUT NOT ANYMORE:

Ralph

 Ted

Aren’t they so handsome?  Oh, and if you want MORE pictures of them (you know I take a ton), follow them on Instagram – @thelewisbros and/or on FacebookYes, I realize that is slightly pathetic, but…DO IT!

14 Comments

  1. Gianna
    Posted March 2, 2012 at 2:24 PM | Permalink

    I love your cats so much I have no words to describe it. Reading this makes me want to get kittens of my own. Do you think Coby would notice?

    • Lizzie
      Posted March 2, 2012 at 2:41 PM | Permalink

      I was just talking to my friend at work about them. They are so hilarious! I totally think you should get a kitten! A full-blown cat, maybe not. But kittens are so adaptable. Unless Coby would eat it or something. His stray tooth makes me feel like he’s a bit of a wild card. LOL.

  2. Lily
    Posted May 8, 2012 at 7:53 PM | Permalink

    Oh, Lizzie, how cute. I must confess that I’m not that fond of cats (we’ve lost too many native animals to their murderous ways) but these little fur balls look so gorgeous and I found myself ooohing and aaahing without restraint.

    • Lizzie
      Posted May 8, 2012 at 7:57 PM | Permalink

      I don’t have kids which has made me a bit nutty about them, but I can honestly say they are the best cats in the world. Bar none. That’s a little grandiose, but… ;)

  3. Heidi
    Posted June 1, 2012 at 1:59 PM | Permalink

    I love Ralph and Ted. Totally.

    • Lizzie
      Posted June 1, 2012 at 2:14 PM | Permalink

      They’re a couple of sweetsies, that’s for sure.

  4. Ange
    Posted July 28, 2012 at 8:08 AM | Permalink

    Your kitties look so cute! Ralph has so many great faces and poses. He is very photogenic. The look on his face when he’s in a “Ted headlock” is hilarious, he looks as though he has chubby cheeks, all the better for scratching! The wall shelves are also really nice, (sadly we have a kitty tower, as someone has a scratching problem!) Ted looks as though he couldn’t care less, and Ralph has a look of excitement about him. I’ll be back for the kitty DIYs!

    • Lizzie
      Posted July 28, 2012 at 8:33 AM | Permalink

      I’m pretty biased, but…they’re the best cats ever. I’m so glad they became such good friends. Although Ted is the typical little brother and is constantly pouncing on him. It’s hilarious. And Ralph’s poses are awesome. Sometimes I’m laughing so hard that I almost can’t take the picture.

      And I’ll definitely have more kitty DIY projects!! :)

  5. Sally Allgaier
    Posted April 10, 2013 at 1:37 AM | Permalink

    I love your cats, Lizzie!! Fun reading about them…such little hams!! I love the paw sticking out from the sheets – too damn cute!!

    • Lizzie
      Posted April 10, 2013 at 6:37 AM | Permalink

      They are the best. They put Ryan and I in stitches sometimes!

  6. Celina
    Posted April 7, 2014 at 9:01 AM | Permalink

    Your cats are adorable and your apartment is lovely! Do you have any issues with your cats urinating outside of the box? I have one male cat (he is fixed), and he goes through phases of inappropriate urination (he is healthy and somewhat spoiled; vet said there is no reason for it). Needless to say my apartment is covered in protective plastic! How do you do it?!

    • Lizzie
      Posted April 7, 2014 at 9:15 AM | Permalink

      Oh man. I’ll be honest. I think I just lucked out in the pee department. I had another cat who pooped EVERYWHERE. It got to the point where I was almost impressed by her abilities to crap on command (whenever she was angry). And the vet also said there wasn’t anything physically wrong with her. It was so frustrating. I wish I could tell you something other than what I’m sure you’re already doing – looking up ideas online like crazy.

  7. Dee
    Posted April 22, 2014 at 2:34 AM | Permalink

    The people want more Ralph and Ted photos! The people have spoken!

    • Lizzie
      Posted April 22, 2014 at 9:03 AM | Permalink

      GAH! I’m so glad to hear that!!! I always worry that people are like “enough of the cat pictures, crazy cat lady.” But I can tell them that THE PEOPLE HAVE SPOKEN!!! SO SAY WE ALL!!!

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