Miss Me?

GAH! It feels like I’ve been gone forever! Well, at the same time I can’t believe it’s already time to go back to work. Remind me again why I can’t be a stay-at-home-not-mom? I really don’t think that I’m asking too much from the universe. If I were Anastasia, I’d totally take Christian up on that whole “you know you don’t have to work” thing. Ugh.

Instead of being one of those “hey, watch my slide show of vacation photos” people, I thought I’d give you some highlights and a few pix (some of which were taken by my sister-in-law). If you follow me on Instagram, you’ll have seen some during the trip. If you don’t already follow me and you WANT to see more, start following me. (Forewarning - most of my pictures are of Ralph and Ted).

Highlights of the trip:

1. During one pub night a guy picked me up, put me over his shoulder and started walking towards the door. I almost peed my pants in laughter. Apparently, my ginger hair (seriously, everyone thought it was natural which made my heart sing with glee) was a big hit.2. I was offered a paying singing job in THE (literally the only one according to them) gay bar in Galway. Karaoke…it’s a family thing. The Irish people were so adorable that I wanted to squeeze them. One of them asked Ryan if we lived in LA because I had a record deal and then told me I should go on The X Factor so that they could all vote for me. They apparently don’t realize that singers are a dime a dozen here in LA and that a vast majority of them are insanely talented. Oh Irish gays…I love you right back!3. Driving on the left side of the road is scary. Actually, it’s plain wrong. Didn’t “we” invent the automobile? I mean, I’m not sure about that, but I assume I’m correct since we have the whole Henry Ford connection. But what do I know. Honestly, either side would be fine really. But at what point did we split off? Were we just being rebellious because we were still rubbing it in Great Britain’s face about the whole Revolutionary War thing? Like “SUCK IT! WE’RE GOING TO DRIVE ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE ROAD BECAUSE WE ARE THE EXACT OPPOSITE OF YOU! MEANING AWESOME!” Weird. Regardless, the roads in Ireland were ideally made for one car in my opinion. Two cars per road is insane. Two cars with stone walls an inch to the side of each lane is stone cold crazy. Throw in a speed limit of 100 kilometers per hour (about 60 mph), winding roads and roundabouts instead of stop lights and I’ve hit maximum overload. Oh, and don’t forget that THERE ARE VIRTUALLY NO STREET SIGNS ANYWHERE!!!! If we didn’t have a navigation system, we wouldn’t have ever made it out of Dublin in the first place. I honestly don’t know how Ryan managed it. With a manual car, no less. I almost had a stroke just driving IN the car.4. A typical Irish breakfast includes black pudding which is fried up blood (or something). I still feel like gagging.5. Irish bands love to sing songs from the 80’s. It. Was. Awesome. I think I heard Sweet Caroline about 10 times from 10 different bands. BUM Bum buuuuuuuuuumm.6. Irish toilets have a long drop to the water in the tank. That means that you hear a lot of “action” when someone is going to the bathroom. That meant that someone didn’t poop for 3 days. I’ll leave you guessing as to who it was.7. Not all Irish people are nice. I learned that the hard way when a nasty B&B proprietor ripped me a new one for not reserving our room correctly. It’s a long story, but I’ll just forewarn you about Carrigeen Castle in Cahir. Peig Butler (that is not a typo) is a real turd. I’m actually calling her out to the entire world.8. Budweiser is one of the top beers ordered at most pubs. Crazy. I joked with Ryan that when we walked into the first pub, I was going to jokingly order a Bud. It would be hilarious since NO ONE in Ireland would drink Budweiser. Joke’s on me.9. Irish is an actual language (I just assumed it was Celtic) and it’s written on all street signs. Sometimes in lieu of English. And, to me, it sounds like Klingon. Seriously. I think that’s where Gene Roddenberry got the idea.10. Ryan has found his people. Between his gift of gab, knowledge of Irish music and love of Guinness, he’s found a place he’d LOVE to call home. We’re already planning our next trip. And this time, we’re bringing Ryan’s little sister, Tate. It. Will. Be. Epic!

Oh, and speaking of Tate, she was the best cat-sitter EVER. Ralph got so used to “strangers” that he spent the entire evening with us all the night we got home. Out in the living room. Instead of under the covers in the bedroom. That’s like toddler steps! Granted, he’ll probably lose all that bravery while we’re guest-less, but it was nice to see!

You really did miss me, didn’t you. DIDN’T YOU????!!!!!!!!!!!