Should it be Grammies? Whatever. This year, I actually watched the Grammy Awards while they were on. Well, in all honesty, I watched the last hour this morning because…SHERLOCK WAS ON LAST NIGHT, Y’ALL! Anyway, there were so many moments where I was all:
(Note: I’ve also used this collage to depict my faces whilst reading my FB/Instagram wall, but it works here as well.)
There were also moments where I was amazed. But I don’t have any amazed face pictures nearby and my hair isn’t dry yet, so it wouldn’t be a very good picture. Instead, I’ll use a picture of my great-nephew as he is so adorable:
Let’s pretend this adorable expression is what mine would look like when I’m full of awe and wonder. Which I honestly was last night.
SO. Let’s get started. First off, ummmm…why wasn’t Justin Timberlake there? I mean, other than the Master Card commercial (which made me angry because my stupid bank uses Visa which means I’ll end up having someone like Ding Dong Swift come to MY door when I win the prize). I mean, he’s J Freaking T. After that ultimate let-down, here are my other observances:
- Beyonce started the night out and she was awesome. Like I said, my hair is currently a damp and…I pretty much look EXACTLY like her right now. It’s uncanny. But the bleeps last night made me laugh because they were LOOOOONNNGG. I was all “WHAT IS SHE SAYING?!”
- Pink. I’ll be honest, I’m not a huge Pink fan (not that I DON’T like her, but I don’t know that much of her stuff), but…dang. I mean come on. This is downright nuts amazing. Nutsmazing.
- I’m gonna say something that will possibly upset people. I think Ringo Starr is [thumbs down]. I honestly think he was their developmentally challenged sidekick from the beginning. Although, in an unfair twist, he looks freaking amazing. Paul McCartney kinda looks like an old lady, but Ringo Starr looks the same as he did 25 years ago. Of all the ones…it had to be Ringo.
- Madonna…blecht. She sounded like [raspberry sound] and she had a cane(?!?!). At least she left the grills off. And why the heck do they insist on having someone sing along with Mary Lambert in the Same Love song. At the VMAs they rammed her out there with Jennifer Screaming-Is-The-Same-As-Singing Hudson and this time Madonna? The poor girl finally got some notoriety. CAN YOU JUST LET HER HAVE THE STAGE TO HERSELF?!
- Metallica. Was. Awesome. Seriously, James Hetfield, you are amazing and I love you. Although…their bass player is the stuff of nightmares. He’s always squatting and head-banging with his very long hair and just looks like a Japanese water ghost up there. I mean…. And Lars kinda looks like Gollum. IMO. Fun Fact - I “taught myself how to play the guitar” using this song. Not the guitar solos (duh), but the beginning. It was funny.
Taylor Swift…ugh. She’s very talented, but she just bugs me. Like big time bad. I mean, WHAT IS SHE DOING AT THE 2:26 MARK???
I was wondering if she was going to fall backwards and cack her head on the ground. Geez Louise.
- I’m a little over the Daft Punk robots not talking thing. Even though Pharrell Do Right (seriously you guys - did he just come from Arby’s??) spoke for them. Although, I will say that it’s impressive how dedicated they are to their persona. I mean, you can’t even see what color they are because they wear things that cover their necks and arms. But they’re French, so I’m thinking the obvious - Asian. Also, do you think they were really doing anything back in that DJ booth during their performance? It was a little Danger Will Robinson looking in there and I think those buttons would just make a “beep, bop, boop” noise if they were actually pushed. But what do I know.
- Do you think Robin Thicke is really regretting his cutesy lyric “what rhymes with hug me?” Every time he sings it, he has to pretend like it’s the first time he’s said it and look around like “Right?! Tee hee.” It makes my heart hurt for him. Also, thug tea.
- Lorde is kinda weird. I don’t want to expound on that since she’s a kid and she’s super talented, but…I think she was wearing the exact same outfit when she performed that I wore in my senior portrait. They were like work slacks. Or maybe they were really cool and I just couldn’t see them. I don’t know. I guess I should just be thankful she wasn’t wearing a leather thong and pasties. Kids today…
- I feel like I might scream if I have to hear that Imagine Dragons song one more time. We get it, you’re radioactive. Although, the performance with Kendrick Lamar was great. I did get the first picture look on my face when I saw Taylor Swift standing in the front row and dancing. Ugh. Yes. We can all see you, Taylor.
- Kacey Musgraves is adorable. End of sentence.
All in all it was entertaining. And I think that’s all I’ve got I’ve got to say. For now…
