Funk

And I’m not talking about music by George Clinton (even though I wish I were because…that hair is awesome). I’m talking about me. I feel like I’m in a total funk lately. I cannot get motivated to write anything. Part of it is because all the projects I’m working on right now are for the party in a couple of weeks and I’d really like to show them all at once. Plus, I don’t want to give the magic away before the party. Duh. Of course, Ryan thinks I’m in a funk BECAUSE I’m not writing. [Sigh]. It is a riddle, wrapped in a mystery, inside an enigma.

Another reason is sad and a little weird. My favorite teacher EVER died of a heart attack on New Year’s Eve. That’s the sad part (obviously). The weird part is how depressed I feel about it. Well, not so much depressed because, let’s face it, I haven’t seen him in many, many years. I think it just brought a whole bunch of old memories up. Some great, some that make me feel like crawling under the table and dying from embarrassment. Ugh. Have you ever done something so ridiculous that you just want to travel back in time and slap yourself in the face? Well, that was pretty much my entire senior year in high school. Let me break it down for you.

First off, this is my teacher, Mr. Robert Vehar.

A little dorky, I know. He was our music teacher and the conductor of all the choruses (chorusi?). In other words, Bob Vehar was the balls. He was so passionate about music and had some very unique and slightly hilarious methods for teaching. We may have giggled a bit at his tactics, but that man got the job DONE. In all sincerity, I don’t think I’ve been more proud to be part of something than I was of our chorale. We basically rocked it. We went to a competition once and it was LAUGHABLE how much better we were than anyone else. We were so good that I honestly felt sad for the other choruses. It would be like comparing your high school heavy metal garage band to KISS (circa 1970′s obviously). Or apples to oranges. I could have just gone with that one.

On top of that, I was a good singer. I’ll try not to toot my horn too much, but since it was a million years ago and I’ve done zipperoo with any sort of talent I may have had, I’ll toot it a little. Here’s a clip from one of our performances (in fact, I think it was from the choir competition mentioned above, but I could be wrong). I’m the soloist. Keep in mind, I was 17.

I tried to make it less braggy by putting a picture of Ralph “singing” in there. That reminds me - I’ve gotta take him to get his teeth cleaned. Yikes. Anyway, I auditioned for All-State Chorus my sophomore and junior year and got perfect scores (plural - BOTH TIMES). Mr. Vehar thought I should go ahead and audition for the All-Eastern choir, so I did. Aced it and was accepted. I think I was the first person to audition (and maybe the last after the story I’m about to tell).

So, this is where my path in life goes astray. By the time I hit senior year, several things in my life had changed. The first was that a majority of my close friends had all graduated the year before. The second was that I started dating my future (first) husband (ugh) who had also graduated the year before. That transitioned into me TOTALLY CRAPPING OUT on academic life. I went from moderately good grades to blecht. I almost flunked right out of school. Seriously. The saddest part is that the class I came FAR too close to failing was AP English. Who fails high school via an advanced placement course???? This lady. Well, almost. And not because it was too hard. It was because I didn’t care. And I skipped class. ALL. THE. TIME. I eventually got suspended from school for three days for skipping. (Side note - probably not the best form of punishment for someone who is skipping school. I was like “YAYYYYY!”). So this is where the stories collide. I’m sure you’re like “WHY IS THIS TAKING SO LONG?? IT BEGAN LIKE A HUNDRED PARAGRAPHS AGO!!!” I know…sorry…

So, I had auditioned and been accepted into All-Eastern Choir (or Chorus or whatever), but I was a total turd about it. Quite frankly, I didn’t want to go. I wanted to be with my boyfriend (ugh). Traveling to Washington DC seemed like a total drag, but I knew I had to go. And I knew that Mr. Vehar was counting on me. Then I got suspended. (YAYYYY!!!). When I came back to school, Mr. Vehar pulled me aside and basically let me have it. He told me how disappointed he was in me, especially because of the upcoming trip to DC for the fancy chorus thing. It felt like I’d been punched in the gut. Especially since my dad’s reaction was that he wished I’d just told him that I didn’t want to go to school because he’d have written me notes to get out of class. OK, I guess? Mr. Vehar seemed legitimately worried about what the hell was going on with me. It caused me to snap slightly out of it. I mean, we went on the trip to DC and I graduated. And I don’t think I skipped class again. But probably only because if I was caught skipping ONCE more, I’d have been suspended again (YAYYY!).

THEN (bored yet?), at the end of the year, my music department decided to go to Germany for some sort of competition or tour or something. It was the LAST thing I was interested in doing. Especially since it was going to be in the summer. I mean, going on a high school trip AFTER I’ve graduated? Uhh…yeah, no. BUT, one of the songs the chorale was going to be singing was the piece you just heard. The one that I had the big solo in. So Mr. Vehar asked if I was planning to go. I said no because I didn’t want to, but I must have said something about not being able to afford it. I mean, I’m sure my family didn’t have that type of corn just lying around, but the kids were doing fundraising and stuff. I could have worked to get the money if I really wanted to. But I didn’t. A little while after, he said that he’d help pay for my ticket. I was all “Well…we really can’t afford it at all.” Of course, I hadn’t even breathed a word about the entire thing to my dad to begin with. A couple of weeks later, my music composition teacher pulled me aside and said that “they” (I have no idea who) would pay for half if I could come up with the rest. Nope. A little while after that, the school music director pulled me into his office and said that they’d pay for my entire trip. THE ENTIRE THING!!!! I did what any “normal” person would do. I said no thanks. To a free trip to Germany. GAHHHHH!!!!! My ONLY reason (which I kept to myself until this very moment) was that I didn’t want to be away from my dumb boyfriend. For like two weeks (or however long the trip was). Teenagers…WHY ARE THEY SO DUMB?????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I found out later that Mr. Vehar couldn’t get anyone else who could hit the high note in the solo, so they had to have one of the teachers sing it. (And between you and me, I heard it didn’t sound all that hot). SO, I basically let Mr. Vehar down. Again.

After that, when my dad gave me an ultimatum about college, I said I wanted to go to study music. He said no. He thought I’d have a hard time making a living since music teacher jobs aren’t easy to find. In his own way he was trying to look out for me, I guess. And, because I was brilliant, I said ok. I wouldn’t go to school for music. I wouldn’t go at all. I didn’t want to go in the first place. Instead, I got a job as a legal secretary and married my boyfriend a couple years later. THE GREAT DECISIONS KEEP COMING!!!!! Keepin’ it real! I can’t get too down on myself. Eventually, that did lead me here with a really well paying job and with a new, wonderful and hard-working husband. Unfortunately, my only chance to sing is in the car or whenever I can drag people to karaoke. Total bummer.

ANYWAY. If any member of Mr. Vehar’s family ever reads this blog post (which I’m sure will never happen), please accept my apologies for my teenage antics. And also know (which I’m sure you already do by now) that Mr. Vehar touched so many people’s lives. I cannot say how happy I am that I was able to be in the mixed chorus, chorale and chamber singers. It gave me a huge sense of pride. Something I’d never felt before and I honestly don’t think I ever will again.

Ahhhh…it feels much better to have written that all down. Dollars to donuts, neither Mr. nor Mrs. Vehar even remember these stories, but I’m glad I at least put it out there.

OH, and there’s going to be a memorial concert in March or April with chorale members from 1971 to 2001 participating. I’m going to try my DARNDEST to get home for that. IT. WILL. BE. EPIC!