2012 is My Year!

I think. I hope…

There are a few things I’m good at. Fighting, screwing, and reading the news (the Anchorman quotes NEVER stop). No, I’m not Veronica Corningstone. The few things I’m good at are sing/rapping “How Low” by Ludacris (I’m 100% serious; I learned it only because Ryan hated the song so much and now I practically scream in delight every time it comes up on Pandora) which I just might record for you all to see, complaining (as a kid, my dad said my middle name should be nag and I also, allegedly, named my first doll “Crabby”), and organization. HA! I’m kidding about the last one. Well, I am organized, but the list was starting to feel like a resume or a yearly review. I don’t know what the last of the few would be - joking around? That sounds kinda pathetic. I’m an [insert age] jokester who can rap like an MF’er, roll my eyes while doing it, and file? (I really am organized).

Something I’m not so great at - containing my composure while sitting at a desk all day being bossed around by, pretty much, teenagers. Seriously, some of the kids I now take orders from are young enough to be my kids. Granted, I would have had to be a “loose” teenager, but still. They’re very young. Listen. I really want to complain about my firm, but as office jobs go, I’ve got a pretty sweet set-up here. I have my own office (with a door!) and a window that faces the ocean. The pay and benefits here are amazing as well. It’s not the law firm specifically. I want to leave the life of working in an office behind. I mean, have you ever heard a little kid say that they want to work a 9-5 job in an office when they grow up? No. Okay. Maybe some do. Regardless, we always laugh at little kids’ dreams as they are basically stupid. I’ll be nice - naive. Not everyone can be a cowboy, fireman or astronaut. Odds are, you’ll be just like me one day - waking up and thinking that you’d like to call in “slick” today (one of my workmates says that, if she calls in when she’s not really sick, she hates to lie, so she quickly says that she’s “slick” and hopes that no one notices). Or wondering if you can go on disability if you are covered in manilla folder cuts (MUCH worse than paper cuts).

I really sound like a Debbie Downer, but I’m totally not today. And because I cringe a little when I see a blog with all writing, I’ll break up the post with a picture:

Ralph + Ted 4-EVAH!!! I’m totally burying the lead here, aren’t I?

Last night I listened in on a conference call about creating your own brand and…business(!). It’s called The Woohoo Way to Wealth. I met the creator of the program, Lisa Steadman, years ago while I was going through a poopy divorce. I don’t like to complain too much about my ex, but…if you ever read this blog one day, Baxter (I started calling him Baxter because when the whole thing went down, I was in a glass cage of emotion), you still owe me $10,000. Pay up. ANYWAY, Lisa wrote a book called “It’s a Breakup, Not a Breakdown” and it was wonderful. It takes the crappy feelings you have about getting a divorce and turns them upside down. I wholeheartedly recommend it. So, when I heard that Lisa was holding a conference call regarding the business we call starting a (get it, like the business we call show - I’m on FIRE today), I was all over it. When she mentioned the fact that she was going to give someone the gift of a FREE spot in her 16-person, 12-week course, I thought it was a great idea. It was SUPER nice of her. The person who won would be a lucky duck. But…it wouldn’t be me. I win things like garbage cans from Apartment Therapy (I totally did and it’s awesome) and posters. I don’t win things that cost thousands of dollars. UNLESS I DO! BECAUSE I TOTALLY DID!!!!!!! I WON! I’ll admit that I felt a little guilty about it because no matter how old I get, I still seem to feel like a kid who’s just screwing around and having fun. Other people are more serious and adult-like. But, I will tell you this, I am going to make this business HAPPEN!!!!! I am unleashing my crazy personality on the world! THE UNIVERSE!! So…hold on to your butts because it’s about to get real up in here.

[Microphone drop].