Guest Post - Infused Booze

Guest blogging is stressful when you realize that the actual blogger is way craftier, and funnier than you. I mean, that is why one person starts a blog, and why another person just sits in their yoga pants and eats cheese. I was trying to pinpoint why this stress-feeling was so familiar and remembered that when I was in 7th grade, I tried to pen a letter to Canadian heartthrob, Bryan Adams. I believe it was on some kind of Hello Kitty stationary that I nicked from my sister and I was ready as any 12 year old could be to lay it all on the line to Bryan…but found my words inadequately expressing my deep and abiding love for him. I believe at some point I asked him to say “hello” to Corey Hart, as I believed that all Canadian pop singers obviously were roommates, or at minimum met up for casual dinners at Swiss Chalet, a quick curling match, or some other super Canadian pastime. Anyway, I hope Corey got the message.

I want so badly to express my desire to want to craft. Note the structure of that sentence…I don’t actually craft, but I’d REALLY like to. So I read a lot about it and daydream about how awesome my life will be once I finally use my sewing machine for more than hemming two pairs of pants, then giving up on the whole machine once the bobbin gets tangled. Lizzie on the other hand has grabbed crafting by the yarn balls, just like the time she was forbidden to see Bryan Adams (see the clever tie in here!) and snuck out the window to go to his “Reckless” concert with me and Kim Ryan. She’s crafty in more ways than one y’all and not a little bit reckless. [Editor's note - I actually hung out of my 2nd story bedroom window and dropped to the ground. Apparently seeing Bryan Adams was worth becoming a quadraplegic.]

So recently Lizzie posted something on FB about wanting to send out mini bottles of booze for a party invitation and felt really deflated after pricing out the idea. This is when I realized that I DID put down the cheese and moved my yoga pants to the crafting table last year when my husband Seth and I made infused booze as Christmas gifts for our loved ones. This idea was even more genius because I wasn’t going to raid my own product due to the fact that I was newly pregnant with twins, and my doctor told me booze was all “frowned upon” and stuff. Boo.

So…I digress…whew, this is getting long. Here was our super awesome, inexpensive, VERY well received Infused booze craft extravaganza.

First we ordered some cool bottles off of the interwebs (make sure they were safe for potables):

Prices tend to fluctuate, so once you know the size and type you’re going to use, do some searching on the internet.

To fancy them up a notch we also ordered foil seals. They are so convincingly pro looking that we had to really underline to the recipients that we indeed MADE these and didn’t buy them from a spendy liquor store:

We bought some little cardboard tags by cutting a few squares out of an old gift box. Then I got some little jingle bells and some twine at the dollar store to add to the cute tags to tie around the neck of the bottle.

Finally, we got stamps to represent the kind of booze in each bottle. Most were available at the craft store, but we bought ours on eBay for WAY cheaper and they had a larger variety. Here is an example of the one we got for the Bacon Bourbon:

So once finished the bottles looked like this:

Cute, right? And that’s without even knowing what was in the actual bottles…well hold on to your wigs because here are the infusions we made…and they were awesome (I’m told- I couldn’t drink them as you recall, nor could I stand the smell of them, but I blame my babies for that). :

Bacon Infused Bourbon:

What you need:
5 or 6 slices of your favorite bacon
One 750 mL bottle of decent, but not fancy bourbon (we used Jim Beam white label, also check out Evan Williams Black Label)

How to do it:
Over medium-low heat, slowly cook the bacon to render as much fat as possible. Remove and eat bacon (that’s an order). After the fat has cooled down to room temperature, mix 1 oz. (2 tablespoons) with the bourbon in a widemouth non-reactive container (plastic, glass, stainless steel). Give it a stir, cover, and walk away. Let it sit for at least 6 hours at room temperature; a little longer won’t hurt. Place your container in the refrigerator or freezer until the bacon fat has solidified on top. Use a spoon to remove and discard the bacon fat. Use a coffee filter (cheesecloth would work, too) and a funnel and return the newly baconated bourbon to its bottle (or put the bourbon in whatever gift bottles/mason jars you’re using). That’s it! Use it as you would any bourbon - neat, on the rocks, or in a cocktail. Old Fashioneds and Manhattans are especially good.

Grapefruit and Jalapeno Tequila:

What you need:
One 750 mL bottle of tequila (again, find something decent but don’t spend too much - Sauza Silver or Dos Manos Blanco are good choices)
Two jalapeno peppers
One grapefruit

Using a grater and a light touch (Microplanes are perfect for this) remove all the zest from the grapefruit. Halve and juice the grapefruit. Remove the stems from the jalapenos and cut in half lengthwise. Remove the core and the seeds with a paring knife (if you want a really spicy tequila, leave the seeds in). Combine the grapefruit zest, juice, jalapenos, and tequila in a non-reactive container. Let the mixture infuse for a few days. Taste the tequila and see what you think. If the flavors are strong enough, it’s time to re-bottle. If the flavors aren’t where you want yet, give the tequila a couple more days. When it’s ready, strain the zest and peppers from the tequila with a mesh strainer, then filter the tequila through a coffee filter or cheesecloth. Bottle the tequila and you’re ready to go!

Actually, we made 4 infusions but I didn’t want this post to be even longer so I chose the two that were the favorites, and I think we all know what Bryan Adams would choose (but only if it was Canadian bacon- which who are we kidding, is just ham, You know what though- B.A. can do what he wants because he owns my tiny little tween heart, even if my father said he sounded like he swallowed a bag of sandpaper-but what does he know a-boot our love? NOTHING.).

Okay, so put on your “yoga” pants, get cookin’, and drink up like it’s the Summer of ’69. [Editor's note - do you think the "Five and Dime" really sells six strings? I always wondered...]