This Is Happening

Ladies and gentlemen, can I please have your attention. I’ve just been handed an urgent and horrifying news story. I need all of you, to stop what you’re doing and listen.

THIS IS HAPPENING!!!

Scotchy scotch scotch

Back to your regularly scheduled program…

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Festival Supreme

We were given the PERFECT gift (thanks to my WONDERFUL in-laws) of tickets to Festival Supreme for this past Saturday.  What is Festival Supreme?  It’s this:

Festival Supreme 2013

If you go to their Facebook page there a ton of links to the pictures and articles, etc.  I was going to post some of the pictures I took of the performances, but frankly, they were far away and I felt like I was going to be showing you vacation slides from my road trip through the mountains.  Ones that are just mountains and road ad nauseam.  You deserve better than that.  YOU ARE MY FOLLOWERS!!  I thought it would be more entertaining to talk about the “other stuff” related to the festival.  That’s why I’m here.  To entertain.  So here we go… 

Let’s start with the line to get in.  Yeah…no….  We live close enough to the Santa Monica Pier to walk which was great.  The doors opened at 2:00 pm and the first act we wanted to see started at 2:45, so we decided to leave at 1:45.  It’s about a 15 minute walk, but we knew there’d be a line. 

Before Festival Supreme

(I now realize that “end of the finish line” is just the finish line.  Oh well.  The graphic has been made).  Let me say that this part of the line was not walking towards the pier.  We still had to walk around the block to even get to that part of the line.  We didn’t expect this.  And I was already PISSED because it was hot enough that my straightened bangs had started to curl because my forehead was sweaty.  NOW I NO LONGER LOOK ADORABLE AND IT HASN’T EVEN STARTED!!!  It didn’t help that everyone in line was a comedian.  Someone asked where the end of the line was and the response was “at the end.”  HAHAHAHAHAHAA!  Wang.  Then a car waiting at a light asked what we were all waiting in line for and someone shouted “BARRY MANILOW!”  HIGH-LARIOUS!  Good grief.  Almost game over.  Anyway, the line wasn’t just long, it was stupid.  No one from the venue was organizing anything (even though they walked through the line to hand out schedules).  The line did this:

map

Excuse the terribly drawn line – I had to use Paint on my work computer (that still exists, you guys) because I didn’t bring my personal computer with Photoshop.  Notice that the line keeps wrapping INSIDE ITSELF!  So at one point, there were two lines of people next to each other going the same direction.  WHICH MEANS LINE CUTTERS!!  I hate people who cut in line.  Probably only because I’m too non-ballsy to do it.  But I couldn’t get too mad because it was totally confusing which line you were supposed to be in!  And my bangs were curling, so I was already deflated.

The festival performers themselves were awesome.  Since the line was so long, I only caught the end of the first performance I really wanted to see – Garfunkel and Oates.  Total bummer.  But after they and Craig Robinson (who was possibly my favorite performance of the night) were finished and the stage was being set up for Fred Armisen (aka Ian Rubbish), we took the opportunity to scoot up a little further in the crowd.  It was there that I met these two delightful people.

Nice friends

Yes, I asked to take their picture like a weirdo.  I felt like I met kindred spirits.  But for the life of me I cannot remember their names.  (That’s how I roll with kindred spirits apparently.) I think it was Jason and Mary Ellen.  I think.  Something like that.  If either of you reads this, please forgive me.  Anyway, they were awesome.  They were very friendly and funny.  They were also very tall AND THEY LET ME STAND IN FRONT OF THEM!!!  And then they told me that the next performers – Princess – was Maya Rudolph’s band.  I would have missed that!!!  They were awesome.  After Princess we parted ways and I went on the hunt for Ryan who decided to see Reggie Watts while Princess was on stage.

One other thing I did while waiting for Princess was insult someone unsuspectingly.  I was apparently feeling very chatty and was talking to everyone in my vicinity.  I said to someone (I said this to a lot of people) that I thought it was strange that Adam Sandler was on the lineup (and in one of the major time slots).  He just seems like such old news to me.  And I never really found him that funny in the first place.  My kindred spirits agreed with me (obvs), but because I’m an a-hole, I ended up having this conversation:

Me:  Adam Sandler’s playing at this stage later, right?  Who wants to see him?  I mean, right?! [Looks around for universal acceptance].

Biggest fan:  I’m from Indiana and I flew here just to see Adam Sandler.  He’s my favorite.  And it’s my birthday.

Me:  [Embarrassed silence].  I’m so sorry.  I hope you have a nice day!

It was seriously his birthday.  I didn’t just make that up.  I know because they later showed him on the Jumbotron thingy while Adam Sandler was performing (he sang a song about the 12 days of Halloween – is that funny, you guys?).  He was holding a big sign saying exactly what he told me.  I still felt like a douche.

After I met up with Ryan (which I was sweating bullets about because I didn’t have a signal on my phone and thought there was a pretty good chance that the next time I saw him, it would be at home), I said I had to go to the bathroom.  I was really hoping I was going to be able to hold it for the entire time because port-a-potties are D-I-S-G-U-S-T-I-N-G.  But that obviously wasn’t going to happen.  Especially since they were selling alcohol and…we all know how much I like alcohol.  I wasn’t even slowed down by the fact that a TINY Jack and Coke was…$15.  The shot of Jack was $12 and the SPLASH of Coke was $3.  The overloaded ice was free.  No joke.  They  must have made a million dollars on drinks alone.  ANYWAY, back to the bathrooms.  In order to get to them, you had to squeeze through an area surrounded by one of the stages and some vendor booths.  It was so tightly packed with people that I felt like I was back in high school years in a concert mosh pit.  Meaning you were completely incapable of doing anything other than be pushed by the surge of the crowd.  It was honestly a little scary and I was nervously laughing and I think the guy in front of me was getting freaked out because I was right up against his ear.  And the strangest part was that there was literally no line for the actual bathrooms once you got to that area. Someone almost walked in on me and that was enough to shrivel up the pee for the rest of the day.  I’d rather get a urinary tract infection.

There were also about 5 picnic tables in the center.  That was the extent of seating.  Even though I thought ahead and wore comfortable shoes (you guys, I’m OLD – I made sure I chose the ones with GEL INSERTS!!), my feet were killing me after a while.  We decided to take a dinner break and sit down to eat.  The only available seats were on the actual pier itself.  The FIRST thing I thought was how many birds there are on the pier and with birds just comes bird crap.  Whatever.  My sore feet outweighed my nervousness about getting syphilis from a gross pigeon or seagull.  The thing I didn’t count on was…slivers.  That was an unpleasant surprise!  Check out the loose slivers next to Ryan (this is the most serious picture I could get of him at the moment).

sitting on the pier

On top of the irritation of sitting on the ground, we also had this guy squatting next to us:

strange man

I felt like I was looking at a page out of my high school history books about the caste system in India.  He was, obviously, one of the untouchables. 

They had a lot of technical difficulties during the Mr. Man Show performance.  Adam Sandler was performing on the opposite stage and the sound for that was so loud that you couldn’t hear David Cross and Bob Odenkirk at all.  I’ve never really watched the show, but I was totally bummed that I didn’t get to see their performance.  Especially since it meant I had to hear Adam Sandler.  The rest of the crowd agreed as there was some angry shouting. 

The last performance of the night was Tenacious D.  By that point, a big portion of the crowd was just sitting down (on the pier – barf) watching the Jumbotron instead of going to the stage.  There was mention of a big mystery guest and I was very excited to find out who it was.  COULD IT BE WILL FERRELL???  HE LIKES TO SING!!!  I knew it wouldn’t be.  But I was beyond excited when Lonely Island busted onto the stage.  I love them.  And I’m not a Tenacious D fan, but they were amazing.  I would totally see them again.  Jack Black.  Watching him is so hilarious. I mean:

 

So if Jack Black is reading this, I have a few suggestions – next time don’t issue so many tickets (seriously…how many people were invited?), lower the drink prices, get more bathrooms and fix the sound issues.  But regardless, if you do this again next year, SEE YOU THEN!!

Posted in Miscellaneous | 2 Responses

Kitchen Cupboards

I teased you all on Facebook about a month or two ago with a picture of our painted kitchen cupboards.  But it took me a LOOOOONNNNNNGGGGG  time to finish them.  Well, I did one set of cupboards, but I was busy and had to wait a couple of weekends (!) to do the other set.  And then I didn’t want to show you all until I had finished painting the OUTSIDE as well.  Of course, that didn’t happen right away either.  Ryan finally just took over the duty himself.  But then we needed new hinges because the old ones were so booty and painted-over that he stripped half of the screw heads trying to get them off.  So that took a little longer.  Of course, all the doors STILL aren’t on, but I couldn’t wait anymore.  Plus, I realized that it would be harder to show the effect with the doors ON the cupboards, so here you go.

kitchen cupboard 1

 kitchen cupboard 2

A few notes:

1 – Yes I do live in Southern California and I know this would be a very bad earthquake mess.  The doors are in the process of being put on.

2 – Excuse the errant coffee mug in front of the bowls and plates.  Ryan put the dishes back into the cupboards and decided to reorganize everything which  meant that there wasn’t enough room for all the coffee mugs and I didn’t have the heart to rearrange it because he was so proud of himself for making so much space on the top shelf.

3 – We did drink all those bottles of gin, but it was over time and they are being saved for craft projects.  Duh.

4 – I am aware that there are two of us, yet there are both wine and cocktail glasses for 12+.  We’re not called Hip Soiree around here for nothing.

5 – I wish I had cute vintage dishes to go with these cupboards.  Alas…

Also, I told you guys a couple of weeks ago that I love refrigerator magnets.

refrigerator

Told you.  And yes, cat food is arranged on that tiered tray.  Cats enjoy a good food display as well.

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